What is actually worse when you are a parent, a family member or a friend?
- Having a child who's gay?
- Both your children being gay?
- Having a child who's pregnant before 18?
- Having a child who's pregnant by a guy who leaves her anyway?
- Having a child who has no educational cert?
- Having a heavily drug addicted child?
- Lost your child by an accident or illness?
Seriously. What is worse?
And I might have missed a lot more on this list. Feel free to add more, if you can think of more.
But back to the question.
Sometimes, when I look at some parents, friends or basically people that i know, i do wonder whether these people realize what they say, when someone that they know is one of the above listed.
Why do i wonder? Simply because of the comments that are being mentioned during a fight, argument and discussion. Some of the comments may sound so terribly wrong or so stereotyped to some case. What makes those people superior? What is it that they have besides their pride and "image" that is being ... shall i say.. tested?
I don't know why we automatically judge people. Some do it on purpose, some don't. But there are cases where the situation is towards their own family members or their best friends. The thing i don't understand is when parents are telling off their own child for their own image's sake (!!). That is something i do not accept nor understand. How can a mother or a father tell his/her own child what she/he should be/do? Simply because it gives them a bad image to others?! For THEM??
Worse... what if their attitude towards their children and others is so wrong, that at the end, it comes back to them? What i mean is, what if, for example, a parent tells her/his child what to be, for instance heterosexual. Yet the only people that the sexuality of this person really disturbs.. is only themselves. The rest of the family and friends are fine with it, it is being accepted and welcomed.
Now who's the idiot in this story? Who has a bad image? The child who has parents making a fool of themselves in front of others? Or the parents for just having a gay happy child (by the way, for those who don't know, gay does mean happy...).
So seriously. What is worse?
Of course, the question lays in each and everyone's own situation. If you compare the list, i'd definitely say: the dying child. So it is a matter in which situation one is in order to answer this question.
Thus, even having a gay child is a worse case scenario for some parents. As long as they don't make a scene out of it for their own image's sake.
But well.. that's my opinion.
And I might have missed a lot more on this list. Feel free to add more, if you can think of more.
But back to the question.
Sometimes, when I look at some parents, friends or basically people that i know, i do wonder whether these people realize what they say, when someone that they know is one of the above listed.
Why do i wonder? Simply because of the comments that are being mentioned during a fight, argument and discussion. Some of the comments may sound so terribly wrong or so stereotyped to some case. What makes those people superior? What is it that they have besides their pride and "image" that is being ... shall i say.. tested?
I don't know why we automatically judge people. Some do it on purpose, some don't. But there are cases where the situation is towards their own family members or their best friends. The thing i don't understand is when parents are telling off their own child for their own image's sake (!!). That is something i do not accept nor understand. How can a mother or a father tell his/her own child what she/he should be/do? Simply because it gives them a bad image to others?! For THEM??
Worse... what if their attitude towards their children and others is so wrong, that at the end, it comes back to them? What i mean is, what if, for example, a parent tells her/his child what to be, for instance heterosexual. Yet the only people that the sexuality of this person really disturbs.. is only themselves. The rest of the family and friends are fine with it, it is being accepted and welcomed.
Now who's the idiot in this story? Who has a bad image? The child who has parents making a fool of themselves in front of others? Or the parents for just having a gay happy child (by the way, for those who don't know, gay does mean happy...).
So seriously. What is worse?
Of course, the question lays in each and everyone's own situation. If you compare the list, i'd definitely say: the dying child. So it is a matter in which situation one is in order to answer this question.
Thus, even having a gay child is a worse case scenario for some parents. As long as they don't make a scene out of it for their own image's sake.
But well.. that's my opinion.
1 comment:
If I were to be a parent, I think the worse thing I could ever envision myself to face would be:
1) Having a child, but the child is never at home.
2) Having a child whom I can never communicate successfully with.
3) Having a child who has Medical/Mental issues because something traumatized her/him.
I was discussing this topic with my friend the other day, way before I saw this post. We were talking about our current situation, what with our unusually psychedelic families or the absence of one. And we came up with a list of things we would approve if our kids end up doing them.
1) Allowing our children to bring in any of their friends for sleepovers, irregardless of who they are/what they look like.
2) Giving them the freedom to choose what they want to study, what path they want in life.
3) No questions on their sexuality.
4) If in some cases, the kid does not manage to obtain an educational certificate, then, I will try my best to get to know what she/he really wants in life without pushing her/him too much.
5) Smoking/Drinking/Drugs/Partying are not too much of an issue. Everything in moderation is fine.
6) A bi-sexual kid, is equivilant to having both problems at once(as my friend says).
I think, the true problem behind all these are not whether we can actually handle it, but whether we are well equipped and close enough to the kid/family member/friend to accept them as they are.
I may be wrong, but I believe, each person has a life that is entirely different from another, and of course, the values may be different.
I also know that, if I do have a kid one day(adopted), I will treat him/her with the same amount of respect as I would treat anyone walking down the streets, and not judge him/her.
Because, I would not want to make the same mistake my parents did.
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