Issues: Gay Couples & Straight Couples - The Difference

Besides the obvious difference.. I am actually talking about the difference during the relationship.

Straight couples really have the easy life, though I am not saying that keeping the relationship alive is easy (because its not...!), I am just saying that there are at least new levels that they can look forward to.
For gay couples in contrary, there aren’t such “levels” that they can look forward to. Gay couples can’t say that they will get married, get a house, children, put them to school, education standards, work, grandchildren etc “til death separates” them. I mean, it can happen for gay couples, but only in certain countries. Right now, I am talking about Singapore, where nothing of all the above mentioned is possible. Maybe the house, but that’s about it. And maybe getting a pet instead of having children, I assume.

To me, at this very moment, I think that having a gay relationship here in Singapore, is more a matter of a “dating maintenance”, as I shall call it, than having “diverse levels of life”.

Keeping a gay relationship alive, takes so much more effort into consideration, it is not funny at all. It’s seriously a lot of hard work and constant creativity. [by the way, this may explain the great amount of gay people being involved in the creative media industry..., but that’s besides the point...]

Question:
How do you keep a gay relationship alive and exciting?

How do you keep something alive in a country so small, where you have done everything at least twice already in a 2 years’ relationship. How do you maintain this “excitement”? How can you keep someone close to you, if everything exciting is already done? Do you repeat the whole process by closing one eye and say: “What the hell, just do it all over again.” ?! or you try to invent something... AGAIN?

This is a serious question. Answers are welcome.

Issue: Restricting Someone from Something Can/Could Lead the Person to React Against It and maker Him or Her Rebel in Some Ways. True or False?

Global Warming: A Warning or Not?

It amazes me to see suddenly sooo many advertisements and messages regarding the increase of global warning.

Just yesterday, i went to the first Phoenix Award Ceremony 2007 in Singapore, which awards the digital media for advertisements. There was this one ad that was based on the global warming. This is when it hit me, when i watched it. Recently there has been quite a lot of ads popping up a bit everywhere; bus stations, TV, magazines, trailers and many more.

Isn't it alarming?
I did notice the changes in weather conditions. Have you too?

Have a look at this picture below:

These pictures have been taken on the same spot in Switzerland. The picture on the left was taken in 2004. The picture on the right in 2005. There is a difference of 216m in just one year!
In just ONE YEAR.

If you don't think that this is a big deal and that it just happens in Switzerland, then think again. I mean, we live from those "Gletschers" here in Switzerland. They occupy a third of our lands. It is a natural resource of water that "should" keep on having its cycle. That is to keep water in form of ice and snow during the winter and to give us a reserve during the summer, when it melts down our alps. It is a natural resource of water, drinking water.

Why not recycle and reduce the world from warming up? Why not split paper from glass and aluminum, which are very easily recyclable? Why not use your own grocery bag instead of accumulating plastic bags that you use to throw away your rubbish into?

In Switzerland, we have to do all the above and even pay a license to throw away what is not being recyclable. Yes, you heard me well, we pay to trash our rubbish. On a particular day of the week, only paper and wood are being collected from the houses. On other days all metallic things and on alternate regular day, your usual trash that has a sticker on it (the license) that costs at least S$20? I am not too sure if they've increased it since, but that is about the avarage for a 20L biodegradable plastic bag for your trash. It really does force you to put a lot in a small bag and to recycle the rest.

I remember going every weekend to the glass and aluminum recycling places by bike. For a family of 5, we easily had about 3 big bags of glass and aluminum per 2 weeks maybe? And mind you, the glass was split into green, white and brown glass. Aluminum had its own bin with a compress wheel, that flattens your cans.

So what's so difficult about implying this to other countries?

Yes, Singapore has been "trying" to achieve recycling... but to be honest, not with lots of success. Already the placement of the recycling bins are not in a very common area and there aren't even a lot of it. Then, what's the point, right?

The old place i used to stay at (Highgate Condo, Toh Tuck Rd), did a lot of recycling programs and we even received the yellow plastic bags where we could recycle anything from clothes to pans, paper, glass and aluminum. It was great! Until one fine day, it suddenly stopped with no reason. Finances?

There was a documentary on channel 5, i think, in 2002?, where a group of primary students had to recycle as much as they could for a whole week. It was like a school project. You should have seen the amount of trash 1 person alone can create! It was at least 10 liters*! 10 Liters a person! A week! That makes 40L a month...! How big is the population of Singapore?? O_o

Anyway...

All i have to say is, if you can separate at least paper, carton and glass (or at LEAST paper), you make already a big difference.

Remember:
Mother Earth has only so much resources as provided. For the future of our children, we shouldn't take her for granted and be so ungrateful to her. Without her, you wouldn't be here now.



*Resources from website

Issue: Silent Satellite by Tasmin Archer

It is very interesting how one can listen to a particular song over and over again, isn't it? Right now, i have been listening to this song by Tasmin Archer. A very very old song from the 90s, i think. Still, until today, i can't stop listening to it. I think, it is one of my favorite songs ever!

Though i must admit that today, is a day to listen to this song.

What is silence? How is your silence/silent comment being interpreted by someone else?
Is it something like walking away? Or is it just a comment-less comment?... I am still trying to figure out, if my silence has a single meaning at all.


What is it with silence anyway? Why does it make some people feel awkward? Do we always seek for a reaction? For a comment? Yes, it does make one feel better, but does that also mean that one needs those comments because of the like in confidence we have in ourselves?

Sometimes, my silence really just mean that i can't say anything at all. No reaction. No comment. No thought. But then again, why would i write so much, if i didn't have comments? At the same time, i believe that there is some kind of denial going on. Denying that one is angry, hurt, disappointed or just... speechless?
What makes us speechless anyway? All the emotions mentioned above?

What's the meaning of a silent satellite anyway? Silent observant? Possible. Observe from far and... wait? See what happens...

Issues 4: The Gay Media/Entertainment Industry in Singapore - A Majority within the Majority?

Just now, i was wondering about the industry i am into. Mainly the media and entertainment industry. I was wondering, in a rough percentage, how many gay people are actually working in this industry and are contributing to the Singaporean economy. How did i get to this thought? Well.. let's put it as follow:

First, i am working in this media industry for the past 4/5 years? Something like that...
A lot of my close friends are gay and happen to be part of the media industry
and just now, i have a few clients coming in and out of the office and there is at least 1 gay person part of the group.
and sometimes, these "1 gay person" happen to be "famous". (DJs on radio, TV/Theatre actors, etc.)

So i wonder. I wonder what is the percentage of gay people (closeted or not) are actually part of this industry. And i am not pinpointing at them, in contrary, my gaydar seem to react pretty well to gays... =P .

Since i have been living in Singapore (that makes it soon 6 years, OMG!) i just can't believe how big the PLU community is. I mean, even in Switzerland, where homosexuals are being accepted and have their own groups, lawyers, insurence agencies and gym groups, i was never able to actually "see" one of them. My gaydar was either not working or the "gay" vibes were simply not as detectable as it is here in Asia.

I just feel that, when i walk down Orchard road for instance, i can "sense" at least 1 gay couple/lesbian/gay every... what? 5 minutes? And i can notice them 10 meters from me. Are they/we that obvious...?? =P

Then, there is also an other thing made me think. If the PLU community is so d*** everywhere in the Singaporean media industry (that includes the government sector, mind you!), why is it that the church (as usual) and/or the government wants to "ban" them from being themselves?

Recently, there was an article talking about this church group wanting to change one of the Singaporean laws regarding unnatural sex. Right now, the law pinpoints to gay male and what the church group wants to do, is to also make it valid for lesbians. But when i read the article, something shocked me most... The fact that the church group didn't even know the difference between Lesbianism and Homosexuality... (do you see the irony?). Just read the article and you will see what i mean. (Fridae.com article)
If these people don't even know the difference (or not...) between those 2 terms... then i don't know what to think of ignorance.

Now, i am curious of what could or would happen if all the gays would just quit their jobs, closeted or not. I wonder how the economy would look like. Isn't it interesting? Think about it.

Anyway... these are just thoughts that cannot be tested alone... =P

What Is Worse? Seriously.

What is actually worse when you are a parent, a family member or a friend?

• Having a child who's gay?
• Both your children being gay?
  
• Having a child who's pregnant before 18?
  
• Having a child who's pregnant by a guy who leaves her anyway?
  
• Having a child who has no educational cert?
• Having a heavily drug addicted child?
• Lost your child by an accident or illness?

Seriously. What is worse?
And I might have missed a lot more on this list. Feel free to add more, if you can think of more.

But back to the question.

Sometimes, when I look at some parents, friends or basically people that i know, i do wonder whether these people realize what they say, when someone that they know is one of the above listed.
Why do i wonder? Simply because of the comments that are being mentioned during a fight, argument and discussion. Some of the comments may sound so terribly wrong or so stereotyped to some case. What makes those people superior? What is it that they have besides their pride and "image" that is being ... shall i say.. tested?

I don't know why we automatically judge people. Some do it on purpose, some don't. But there are cases where the situation is towards their own family members or their best friends. The thing i don't understand is when parents are telling off their own child for their own image's sake (!!). That is something i do not accept nor understand. How can a mother or a father tell his/her own child what she/he should be/do? Simply because it gives them a bad image to others?! For THEM??

Worse... what if their attitude towards their children and others is so wrong, that at the end, it comes back to them? What i mean is, what if, for example, a parent tells her/his child what to be, for instance heterosexual. Yet the only people that the sexuality of this person really disturbs.. is only themselves. The rest of the family and friends are fine with it, it is being accepted and welcomed.
Now who's the idiot in this story? Who has a bad image? The child who has parents making a fool of themselves in front of others? Or the parents for just having a gay happy child (by the way, for those who don't know, gay does mean happy...).

So seriously. What is worse?

Of course, the question lays in each and everyone's own situation. If you compare the list, i'd definitely say: the dying child. So it is a matter in which situation one is in order to answer this question.

Thus, even having a gay child is a worse case scenario for some parents. As long as they don't make a scene out of it for their own image's sake.

But well.. that's my opinion.

Silence

Sometimes everyone does require some silent moment, correct? Being an Audio Engineer requires probably more often some quiet moments, as focusing on the sound throughout the day, will definitely get you really tired.

Now. Being an audio engineer in Singapore is, in my opinion, quite tough to find "silent places". When i get home, although it can get really quiet, it defintely does not satisfy my craving for silence. Reason? Well. Right behind my house, there are constructions going on. A new building appearing. Mind you, the work is going on throughout the night. Not as loud as during the day, but enough to make you wonder, what on earth is happening back there.

Accross the (for now) beautiful green field, right behind Novena Square, they are building this new wing of the same building. Oh no, not the only wing. There is one more wing being built in front of Novena Square. The nice oasis-look-alike place is gone.
So anyway...

I have 3 big construction areas going on right around my place. During the day, it is tough not to hear any hammering, drilling and more. That is every day until sunday. No kidding.
Now, add the drums of the church right next to my building. Mind you, low frequencies travel faster than high ones. Hence, i can hear the rumble of the band's drums and bass.
Sometimes, i do hear the sirenes of the ambulance passing by my window. I guess that's ok. I am the building next to Tan Tock Seng Medical Center...
Oh, and sundays, since my apartment is facing the pool, i can hear the kids screaming and laughing for hours.

Around the evening (of every day), i do not understand why, but there are more and more heavy, full loaded trucks passing by, when the drilling and hammering slowly starts to fade out. "BBBRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHRRRRRR" every ... 10mins for at least 1 hour? Something like that.
Around 2am, when i finally get to go to bed, switch off my lights and want to sleep... I can hear this dog, barking until god knows what time. I can wake up in the middle of the night to keep on hearing him barking right behind my window...
Next to the barking, i do hear some hammering here and there of the building behind my window.

Little question for you.
Have you not wanted (at least once) to sit at a cafe, read a book or do work on your laptop, where it is quiet, you can hear nature (the wind going through the leaves, i.e.), happy children passing by and just have the sun caress your skin. No cars around, no hammering, no annoying noise, which comes in very irregularly and starting to irritate you because of its irregularity...

Have you not wanted it at least once in Singapore? Have you every found it? I did not.

Not yet, at least.

Culture Differences

At school we have been asked to write our final papers and my topic is going to be on culture differences. My hypothesis is the following:

"Cultural differences in perceiving music background for documentaries, based on a comparison between Singaporean and Swiss documentar films."

I came to realise that just talking about it with some friends of mine, that their opinion and culture is really complex yet intersting.

My asian friends will often use the word "boredom" or the sentence like "it's boring if there is no music in the background. Who did this production??!". Now, compared to some Swiss friends, they will often refere to "nature's reality" or "true sounds".

What is boring and why would nature's true sounds be "boring"? Where does this perception come from? Why do we perceive things so differently and from where is this concept coming from?

Being half Swiss and half Vietnamese, i do have even more difficulties to understand this. In the other hand, i probably am more capable in understanding both opinions and follow their trail of thoughts.

During my research, i came across some words like "religion", "nature", "forest", "perfectionism". The meaning of music was very different in both cultures and their perception was focusing on a very different aspect already in the past.

It seems like in the Asian culture, music was meant to be played perfectly. Perfectionning ones instrument was more valuable than anything else. For the Chinese opera big orchestras were used. At least 200 musicians were part of this opera. All playing their instrument to the perfection or they wouldn't even be part of this orchestra.

Compared to the Swiss culture, music is a form of expression. Playing an instrument was considered an opportunity to get into a higher class, because one could be the entertainer of an important person or even a teacher. But it also was a form of simple entertainment and distraction after a battle, for example.
"Grandios" and "dramatic" effects were not given an importance like in Chinese operas, for example. The value lies in being able to express emotions (love, anger, protests). It was a form of open communication, if I may call it.

But now, how does that affect documentar films, you may say. Strangely enough it does have a connection.
I have worked on some projects with Discovery Channels and i know their procedure. I also did some corporate videos where speech should be more relevant and audible, in my opinion. But in Singapore, i have been asked many times to increase the volume of the music. I often told them, that it can mask the speech and the interview. The reply was: "Yes, but it will be boring for them to listen to. That will wake them up." Well... and so i did. I increased the volume. At the end, you really did hear more music than the speech. I never managed to listen to what is being said. The music was distracting me, especially being a musical person reacting easily to music, i couldn't focus on the speech.

Here in Switzerland i just finished a work on the Swiss Guards. A documentar film that will be shown in the cinemas in Switzerland (i think, this is still under discussion, apparently.) next year. My friend asked me not to put any music in the background.... Although it was the first time i work on a project for a Swiss audience, i didn't expect it to have NO music at all.
She tried to explain to me, that she wanted the audience to get the feeling of St. Peter's place natural ambience. The bell, the birds, the fountain in the background, the people and children passing by, all these needed to be heard, she said.

First i really tried to put my "Singaporean style" of having some music in the background, but after watching the 40mins docu film, i realised that, it would have distroyed the entire mood. I really didn't feel like putting any music at all in it. I wondered why...

I recently presented this Swiss documenatry to my Singaporean friend and althought there were no English subtitle, her first impression was to say it looked boring. Even though i trranslated almost every important (in my opinion) phrases of the interviews, she just could not get into the story and history of the Swiss guard. She only said that it was a very different perspective on how one produces documentary. Basically, she said it sucked... (laughing).
She also showed me here she would have put music in the background. She would have put music for all cut outs, but when i told her that my friend wanted to transmit the ambience of the place, the true sounds of that place, she looked at me with a big question mark over her head. It did not make sense for her.

It seems like music evoques more emotions than feeling the emotions of a place, which speaks "history" by itself. Would this be the rerason why Chinese Drama on TV are so.. dramatic and emotional?

It is strange that i can understand my Singaporean friend's point of view. Yes, it would create even more emotions and let the audience "feel" the place of Saint Peter. However, i also understand my Swiss friend and i got trapped in the effect the place had by itself. Maybe because i went to Rome before and ran on that same place, when i was younger, but that was almost 20 years ago...

Maybe if i had some original recordings of the sound in the sixtin chappel, while they were having a mass, maybe that would have been "better" for Asian taste.

Comments are more than welcome! =)

Alarming Increase in HIV Cases

Recently there has been a lot of interesting articles regarding the increase of HIV cases throughout the world.

I was wondering, why is that so. Why do these men put themselves into such a situation? Is it that difficult to use a condom?? Sometimes, i really do wonder.

To me, it looks like many who have multiple partners, don't seem to care that there is an officially deadly sexually transmited disease going on. That it is necessary to put that nice little latex condom around their penis before they put their nice penis into someone else's hole. Why is it soooo difficult?? Can someone tell me?

I do not want to generalise anyone or anything. This concerns ALL OF US. It is not the fault of homosexuals, only. It is the fault of those, who do not want to use a condom during sex. That means, hetero-, bi- and homosexuals, men and/or women.

I have seen my gay friends being prepared and carrying condoms with them or even deny (!) sex if the other part didn't want to use condoms. I give them a big applause!
I have even seen lesbians, who do carry latex handgloves with them and put them on before having sex!! Even women do have safe sex. What's the big deal in protecting one's life before enjoying it fully?!

Having an open relationship is one's choice. Go have your fun, but please, protect yourself!

Maybe it's an ego thing with men, no? I don't know. I just question it. Or maybe it's because it doesn't give one the "right" feeling. You do not feel as much as without a condom... Well then... take the responsibility in your own hands and do the following:

1. have a check up. Go for a HIV test and if it does come out positive,
2. do not blame it on others, but yourself and please,
   
3. next time you are about to have a condom-free sex:
   let your partner know that you are positive!!

THAT is being responsible! 3 very little steps, if you do want to have the full pleasure of sex without a condom.

Does it sound complicated?! NO!
It's YOUR life. It's OTHER'S life you are playing with. Don't be selfish. Think of others!

And if life is so worthless, as it does seem like then jump off the bridge and commit suicide. At least, it won't hurt anyone else, but yourself and your own family and friends. There are other people on this earth, who believe that life is worth a lot. Don't take it away from them.

Am i being very mean? Maybe. Maybe am just and simply telling the actual truth. A short reality check on a blog. If i am really wrong in saying all this, please leave me a comment. I needed to say it out loud, because i can't believe that there are still people being so irresponsible for their choices of not using a condom. I am not saying, it is wrong to not use a condom. What i want to say in this issue is:

If you do not use a condom, take the responsibility towards others and let them know.
This is the least you can do for others and yourself.

To protect does not only mean "use a condom", but also "be responsible for your own choices"

Protect other's life, if you do not want to protect your own.

Own Opinions and Copyrights

Having own opinions about any topic is the simplest right given to us in every country of this world. Opinions are copyrighted automatically and can be used to influence other's opinion, by right. But when it comes to re-use these thoughts and ideas, what are the "rights" behind it? Can we just "copy/paste" these thoughts and proclaim it to be ours? Or do they need to be stated in a footnote or at least in brakets?

In my previous issue "' YES ' to Partnership Legalisation (engl.)" i did give a neutral statement of facts i gathered together in order to write an issue statement regarding the votes going on in Switzerland. I stated links of where i took the facts and mentioned regarding to whom certain citations have been gained from.

This type of "information gathering" is the correct way in doing a research, as i am just a messenger of what i have found in order to create my own opinion to a certain topic. When ever i stated my own personal opinion, i stated it in brakets or mentioned it.

After reading the one and only comment on the issue i've mentioned above, i wondered if this person actually copy pasted the entire report she found somewhere (maybe including the nickname?) or if she actually wrote, literally, the words. It is still a mystery to me.
Soon i got to several hypothesis:

• Does the person actually understand what she "wrote" about?
• Did she understand my article?
  
• Why doesn't she reply to the questions i've mentioned in my article?
• Did she actually read my article?
• Does she know the difference between "murderer", "watching pornography", "being homosexual" and "being hungry"??

Her conclusion was a bit too brutal, in my opinion, by putting homosexual = murderer = pornography and more (if interested, read the comment under the article on partnerships).

Plagiarism is an illigal act unless you stated from whom you get your information and what are the links. I am still amazed to see how many are actually still copy/pasting their "works" done and research by others.

Doing a research is not just reading about an article, but to understand the meaning, the moral and the idea put across the article and then to re-write your own opinion in your own words.
Too many youngsters are still doing their so-called research in a copy/paste way, not realising that this is not the point of a learning outcome. Plagiarism can't be penalised at school, unless it's with a low grade, but in real life, when you start working, yes, it can be very costly. Not only for you, but for the company your are working for.

Having an opinion is not illegal, therefore i encourage people who read my issues and site to give comments on anything. But please, if you do so, try not to copy other people's work without knowing what you actually copy from.

And last, but not least, YOUR opinion is the most precious one you can have. Don't copy someone's opinion. If you don't have an opinion, no big deal. Go get informations about it BEFORE you actually open your mouth. Know what you are talking about in order to make a discussion and being able to argue with VALUABLE points.

Don't be a cow that re-vomits what just got vomited before. This is not the point in growing mentally.

Growing is gathering knowledge.

Therefore:
Knowledge = Information = Research = Own Opinion

For those who don't know what "Plagiarism" means, check www.dictionary.com/plagiarism

' YES ' TO PARTNERSHIP LEGALISATION (engl.)

In most European countries the legalisation of the partnership for homosexuals is a very ongoing topic right now. The latest being in Switzerland where Zurich and Geneva legalised it already.

On the 5th June 2005 there is going to be a votation about legalising partnership among homosexuals. Switzerland is giving a possibility for homosexuals to have a legal paper stating their status. You have to know that this partnership is not a marriage. Below are the differences between both status:

Like Marriage

• no discrimination regarding: taxes, housing, retirement
• in case of the visit in the emergency room, the partner is concidered as family memeber (!!)
• in case of death, the partner is erning the will and is first on the list
• requires a legal divorce

Alike Marriage

• there is no "fiancé/e" nor "Yes, i do!" word
• there is no common last name
• no easy entitlment for a citizenship or passport, in case the partner is a foreigner
  
• no adoption or artificial insimination allowed

As you can see the differences are not big of a deal (in my opinion). I think that this new law will be able to re-inforce the possibility of stability for homosexuals.

Right now, i believe that homosexual relationships are unstable. Many are having several partners in their lives if not during a relationship already...! The "moral" of monogamy is very tiny, in my opinion. Be it for lesbians as for gays.

In order to have some other point of views, let me give you examples for both side of the world.

Gays
Some of my gay friends, even if they are "married", they are still seeing other guys at the same time. Sometimes it may be settled like that within their relationship, which is fine as long as they protect themselves. Yet, there are other gays in a relationship who will see some others without their partner(s) knowing. Thank god some of them protect themselves, but unfortunatelly, there are plenty (still!) who don't.

In Singapore we have those so called Saunas, where the gays meet every day just for a simple "f***". They only pay an entry fee of about S$5 (SFr. 3.00), you receive a tiny face towel (...), you walk into a dark area and what happens in there is absolutely up to you. "You can sit in a corner and just wait until a cock passes by you" said one of my gay friend, who is married to his boyfriend of 10 years.

The profile of the "gay male" is really bad unfortunatelly. This constant "F****** around" doens't give them the right credit for some, who are not part of this category.

In my opinion, i think that the last category i have mentioned is a minority of the minority.

Lesbians

Since i am in Singapore i have been constantly shocked about the differences in "labels" that exist. "What are labels?" you may ask. Strangely even in the homosexual community there are discriminations of a different kind...! There are several basic labels to know:

• Butch - more masculine type. Gestures and the way of talking very much like a guy. Some of them also bind their breast flat.
  
• Femme - very feminine type. Make-up, mini skirt etc. Girlish behaviors.
  
• Andro - can be both types. They are neither butch nor femme. They may look more masculing, but their behaviors are feminine. They can look feminine, but can act tomboyish. Most of the andro really don't care about thelabels.

In each category there are 1-3 more sub-categories of labels, which make the entire labeling system a bit confusing. Hence, i shall not go into these now.

Their lifestyle varies quite a bit from the gays. Lesbians are more likely to be either jobless or not really motivated in having a career. They are "the dreamy" types. I think it is due to their feminine nature of being very sensitive and emotional. Hence, many unfortunatelly react very badly to break-ups, which lead some to suicide.
These are a few informations on the different lifestyles of both gay sexes.

I believe that this partnership will allow homosexuals to find a stability in where they can rely on like everyone does. Give "monogamy" its definition back and give them the possibility of getting responsible of their life without being discriminated.

Sadly, many believe it is not necessary to give them such "priviledge". Some still believe it is "a public offence", like Singapore still bans any gay activity openly. Yet, the Singapore government got a bit more open to this subkect than 4 years ago, where it was difficult to just use the word "homosexual".

Questions
(please state the number you are responding to, if you do answer these questions in the comment box. Thank you!)

1. Do you believe it can help the straight society in understanding homosexuals?
2. Can this new law improve the responsibilities among homosexuals?
3. Would you vote for "yes" or "no" for this initiative? Explain why.